


Isn't he Lovely

by ChocolateCapCookie



Series: Cookie's Stocking Fills [3]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Domestic Avengers, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Has A Heart, comic book magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:40:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28895256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChocolateCapCookie/pseuds/ChocolateCapCookie
Summary: Tony Stark was good at a lot of things: engineering, math, being a superhero, dreaming about kissing Steve Rogers. What he was not good at was controlling his shock when the very same Steve Rogers walked into his workshop carrying a screaming, drooling toddler, looking like he’d been crying.Steve, that is, not the toddler. Although the toddler seemed well on his way to crying at this point too.Steve Rogers acquires a baby. Accidentally.Tony Stark is definitely not in love with Steve as a dad. Nuh-uh. Definitely not.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: Cookie's Stocking Fills [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2161581
Comments: 14
Kudos: 152
Collections: POTS (18+) Stony Stocking 2020





	Isn't he Lovely

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Wonderlandgirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wonderlandgirl/gifts).
  * In response to a prompt by [Wonderlandgirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wonderlandgirl/pseuds/Wonderlandgirl) in the [stony_stocking_2020](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/stony_stocking_2020) collection. 



Tony Stark was good at a lot of things: engineering, math, being a superhero, dreaming about kissing Steve Rogers. What he was not good at was controlling his shock when the very same Steve Rogers walked into his workshop carrying a screaming, drooling toddler, looking like he’d been crying.

Steve, that is, not the toddler. Although the toddler seemed well on his way to crying at this point too.

“Steve,” said Tony, trying to keep his temper in check. “Where, and I say this with all the respect I have, the __hell__ did you get a baby?”

“Loki,” said Steve miserably, and while Tony usually despised one-word answers, in this case, one word was all he needed.

“Color me the fuck surprised.”

“I’ve been awake with him all night and he wont stop crying and I don’t know what to do!” cried Steve, a little hysterically, and well… who knew the great Captain America could ever sound hysterical?

“You mean to say Loki was here last night? And you didn’t wake any of us up?”

“I was about to sound the alarms,” said Steve, now haltingly rocking the baby back and forth, “But he said he was here to speak to me, and he promised he’d cause me no trouble. And then he asked me what I was still doing here, if I really had any place in this world.” Steve sniffled, and Tony realized, for once, he was actually seeing Steve on the verge of crying. Who knew a baby in the Tower wouldn’t be the oddest thing he’d see that day?

“I… don’t know what he thought of what I said, but Loki told me he could give me what I needed… he’d give me something that helped me fulfil my greatest desire in this century. Those were his words exactly. I thought he’d give me a… well never mind what I wanted, this baby just appeared out of this air, and Loki vanished.”

“You don’t think this baby is Loki, do you?” said Tony, poking curiously at the toddler’s cheeks. The baby grabbed onto his finger and babbled happily, kicking its little legs in the air. “Nope. The real Loki would’ve bit me.”

“I was gonna tell Thor,” said Steve wearily, “But we all know how he gets when people interrupt his beauty sleep.” 

“You look like you could use some beauty sleep,” said Tony immediately, and then mentally smacked himself in the head. This was not how to start being nicer to Steve, and it was definitely not the right way to ask him out — not that Tony had any plans of doing that, of course.

“I’ve been awake all night with this one,” Steve groaned. “He peed on me three times, because apparently Loki couldn’t be bothered to leave some diapers behind.”

“At least we know he’s got his priorities right,” laughed Tony, pinching the toddler’s cheeks. “Who’s a good boy? Did you pee all over Cap? Then you’re a good boy!” 

“He’s not a dog, Tony.” Tony started to retort with something smart and witty, but looking at Steve, the man really did look tired. Taking pity on him, Tony took the baby out of his arms.

“Okay, so I don’t really know how to hold these things—” the baby started screaming, as if just to prove his point, “— but I think the best thing to do right now is take him to Thor. And then, we can get a babysitter to let you get some sleep.” Steve looked like he didn’t approve very much of the plan, which, to be fair, he never approved of any of Tony’s plans, but he seemed too exhausted to argue. 

“Fine,” he said, “But give me the baby, you’re going to make him scream his lungs out.” The minute the baby settled into Steve’s arms, his cries quietened, turning into small, gentle sniffles into the crook of Steve’s neck. That shouldn’t have been as adorable as it was.

And yet, watching the pair, Tony couldn’t help falling for Steve a little bit more.

“You say this was my brother’s work?” said Thor thoughtfully, biting down on three of the chocolate Pop-tarts Tony and Steve had brought up as a bribe to wake him up. “It is not unusual for him to help fulfil people’s desires in unlikely ways, but I cannot see how a baby will help you, Captain. Unless your heart’s deepest desire is to have children?”

“Not really, no.”

“Ah well, I cannot claim to understand my brother’s actions; he is the god of mischief, after all. However, I believe that he does very much have good intentions, and this is a gift from him to help you achieve your desires, my Captain.” Steve mumbled something under his breath that Tony couldn’t hear, and the god barreled on as if he hadn’t either. “I believe Loki will have enchanted this child so that he only responds to your touch. If someone else were to take care of him, he would not be pleased.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Weirdly enough, we knew that already.”

“So, what? Loki thinks my greatest wish is to be a single parent to a kid I’ve never met before?” Steve scowled, and the baby started to whimper. Steve’s expression softened immediately, snuggling the little thing harder, although his words were still angry. “This is nothing close to what I wanted, Thor.”

“Be that as it may, my brother’s schemes usually have unexpected consequences.” Thor’s eyes twinkled. “Now, if you do not need any more assistance, are there more of these delicious treats in the kitchen?”

Steve collapsed onto a nearby armchair as Thor rushed out of the room, and he looked so sad and tired, Tony immediately knew he had to take charge here. “I’d offer to take the baby, but, well…” Steve just nodded his head wearily, rocking the baby in his lap. “If we’re going to have a baby in the Tower long-term, we’ll have to make some quick changes. I can get people to baby-proof the common areas and your floor; Pep can arrange for a quick delivery of baby clothes and toys and food and whatnot.”

“And we need to name him. We can’t just keep calling him ‘the baby’. He needs a name.” Steve shook his head. “I hope Loki didn’t kidnap him.”

“As weird as it is to say, it’s your baby, Steve. You can pick out his name. I’ll go get everything else sorted.”

As Tony turned to leave the room, Steve called for him to stop. “Thank you, Tony,” he said, looking at the baby and not once glancing up at Tony. “This isn’t your fight, so thank you for helping out.”

“Any time, Cap,” said Tony, leaving the pair alone.

When he got back a couple of hours later, diapers and baby food in hand, it was to the sight of the great Captain America deeply asleep on an armchair, a small baby clutched protectively to his chest.

Telling the team about the mystery baby went much more smoothly than Tony had expected. Natasha eyed the little thing curiously at first, but then showed no more interest in it than she would have a bag of rice. Bruce stayed a little distance away from it, nervously claiming that “The Other Guy doesn’t like babies. They’re too loud for him.” Clint was the only one to show any enthusiasm. As the only Avenger to have any experience with children, he regaled both Steve and Tony with stories, rants and advice about being parents.

“So what’s his name?” asked Clint, after ten minutes of trying to play with the baby and failing. Loki had done his job well. “Or did Loki not drop a name off?”

“We’ll have to name him,” confirmed Tony, looking over at Steve. Steve shook his head.

“I can’t pick a name for him, I’m too tired to even stand up straight.” Steve looked around the room tiredly. “Tony, you pick.”

Tony started to protest, but by now, everyone was looking at him expectantly. “I’m not a baby name book! All I’m asking is that you don’t name him Howard.”

“How about you give us a name we actually __can__ use?” snarked Clint.

“You come up with a name, if you’re so good at it,” Tony retorted.

“I have a lot of good names, but I’m saving them for my kids, Stark,” snapped Clint. “So let’s not name this kid Cooper or Nathaniel.”

“Those are shit names anyway.”

They continued bickering and arguing for a while, everyone throwing out names, and immediately having someone else shoot it down because that was the name of an old enemy, or an arch-rival from high school.

“We’re never going to pick a name at this rate,” groaned Steve, and Tony had to agree with him.

“Steve, you said I have authority over names? I’m using my veto power to call this kid Peter.”

“Peter was a kid in third grade who threw spitballs into my hair,” Natasha complained. “Pick something else.”

“Until you idiots can give me something better, his name is Peter. No substitutions, no exchanges, no refunds.” Peter babbled happily in Steve’s arms, where he had been seated watching the commotion of the past few minutes. Tony smiled vindictively at Natasha. “See? He likes it!”

Clint rolled his eyes. “You make a wonderful father.”

“Hey, wait — I’m not — Steve is the real—” Tony spluttered, but both Clint and Nat just smirked at him, and he could see Steve frowning.

“I thought you said you’d help me take care of him,” he said, and oh sweet Lord, was that a __pout__? “Doesn’t that make you kind of his father?”

“Fine!” exclaimed Tony, throwing his hands in the air. “I have a son now, happy?” Both Steve and Peter smiled at that, and looking at them, Tony felt like being a father might not really be the worst thing in the world.

It was so much worse than he could have imagined.

“It’s five AM, you little shit,” he growled as he pulled a screaming Peter onto his lap, “You better start learning about social hours soon, or your real daddy and I might start going crazy.”

They’d known before that the baby would only relax when he was asleep, or in Steve’s arms, but surprisingly, he also quieted down when Tony held him now. Thor claimed it was likely because of Tony’s public acceptance of the child and the mantle of fatherhood, and Tony had never regretted having made a public statement more.

“I need to invent something to make you guys a little quieter,” said Tony, cradling Peter and slipping him a bottle of formula. “Or a baby mature-inator so you grow up faster and stop waking people up at ungodly hours.” Peter snuffled a little into his bottle, as if he was uncomfortable.

“I know I’m not your favourite, but your real Daddy needs sleep.” He lowered his voice, bending closer to Peter. “Between you and me, I don’t think he sleeps very well. I know he gets nightmares and stuff most nights, but of course, the great, stoic Captain America would never complain about that.” Peter nodded in agreement.

This was technically Steve’s shift, since Tony had been awake for the previous feeding at about 1 AM, but Tony soon noticed Steve quietly crying out and moaning in his sleep. There were quiet mumbled words as well, nothing loud enough for Tony to make out, but he did catch the word “Bucky” once or twice. Tony watched Steve as he fed Peter, and now, he didn’t feel right waking the man up.

“I think he does love you a little bit, even if he’s only known you for like, a day,” whispered Tony to Peter, whose eyes were now half-shut. “He was very protective of you, and anyone else would have given you up for adoption. Maybe I’ll even consider it, if you keep waking me up like this.” Peter whined slowly, a sign to pull the bottle out, and Tony set him on his shoulder, patting his back gently. Soon, Peter was fast asleep, his little fists clenched on Tony’s shoulder, and as Tony set him down next to Steve, he felt his heart clench a little as well.

**Author's Note:**

> I really did want to make this longer for you, Won, but I’m just gonna stop here and call it a hopeful ending bc I don't want to give the mods too much work xD. Happy New Year's and Valentine's day and everything, you wonderful, wonderful human being.


End file.
